A standard, straight, unusual, conventional, heterosexual couple went to their pleasant neighborhood Applebee’s this week in Sturgis, Michigan and had their world rocked to its core due to one thing that occurred whereas they had been attempting to get pleasure from some Rooster Wonton Tacos and a few pomegranate iced teas. They had been so shook up by what occurred, that they felt the necessity to scribble out a observe for the restaurant so everybody who works there’ll know why they are going to by no means be again.
To: Sturgiss Applebee’s
When my husband and I sat down at our desk, I seemed towards one of many TV screens and to my shock there apparently was a cleaning soap opera on displaying 2 males kissing. I positive am glad we didn’t have our grandchildren with us. A lot for “neighborhood” pleasant.
From: 2 involved “by no means to be again” clients.
This boomer lady acquired her granny panties all in a bunch as a result of she noticed two males kissing on a TV? It’s not like there have been two gays dudes double uncooked canine fisting at Desk 16 utilizing guacamole as lube and taking jalapeño poppers. Girl, it’s a TV present, recover from your self. And so what in case your grandchildren had been there with you. Do you suppose them seeing two males kissing on TV goes to propel them right into a deep, darkish gap of ethical degeneracy any greater than what they see on the information day by day? Your treasured grandkids most likely have lively shooter drills at their faculty and I can just about assure that’s far more stress-inducing than seeing two members of the identical intercourse lock lips.
In order that they’re by no means going again to Applebee’s as if it’s the restaurant’s fault that some cleaning soap opera has a fictional storyline involving two grown males in a consensual act of kissing. Is Applebee’s supposed to rent somebody to pre-screen every thing that exhibits on their televisions and enact a three-second delay in case one thing surprising makes it by way of the airwaves? I can solely think about what else is perhaps so offensive that might trigger Grandma and Grandpa Stick Up Their Ass to desert their “neighborhood” pleasant restaurant:
- RuPaul’s Drag Race
- A JCPenney bra industrial
- That scene in Yentl when Mandy Patinkin exhibits his ass
- Anderson Cooper, Shepard Smith or Rachel Maddow doing actually something
In the meantime, the grandchildren are most likely enjoying Mortal Kombat and porn on Twitter as a result of they know that’s the best place to take a look at it with out it displaying up in your browser historical past.
Applebee’s has completely misplaced two clients. As unhappy as they could be about promoting a pair much less plates of 4 cheese mac & cheese with honey pepper hen tenders, at the very least we all know the servers will not need to cope with a grandma and grandpa who most likely can’t tip greater than 10% and suppose that there’s something flawed with being homosexual. Fuck them.