As anybody who reads this weblog is aware of, I is usually a little little bit of a bitch. Even should you’ve by no means learn this weblog, the title alone must be an excellent indicator of what to anticipate. Final week, a buddy of mine talked about on Twitter that she had been hacked and to probably count on an e mail that will look like from her, however wouldn’t be. Somebody was utilizing her title and asking for a favor. Positive sufficient, that afternoon, my inbox pinged with an e mail from Kat displaying an innocuous “hi there” within the topic line. It had arrived and I had a plan. I wished to see how lengthy I might tag this scammer alongside and the way ridiculous I might get earlier than they lastly gave up on me. And so it started:
December 12, 2019, 2:04 PM
How are you doing and the way is the whole lot going with you and the household?
December 12, 2019 2:13 PM
Thanks for asking! Really it’s been an extended highway for my dad, as you already know. Ever since his amputation, he finds it actually troublesome to see life from a constructive perspective. I assume I can perceive. I imply, as if it wasn’t troublesome sufficient for him to lose his sight now he hast to lose his leg too? My mother is nice, nonetheless. She was acquitted of all prices in order that’s excellent news! I couldn’t bear the considered spending one other vacation along with her behind bars.
What about you?? Did your brother ever discover that lacking hubcap? I swear to God, that was the funniest factor I’ve ever seen. Has he been allowed to Disney World since?
Thanks for reaching out. You at all times know the best way to brighten my day. I hope you’re effectively. Comfortable holidays.
December 12 , 2019 2:26 PM
Thanks for getting again to me and am very completely happy to listen to from you, I’m spending the Vacation season with him subsequent week Thursday night time. I want a fast favour from you i don’t know in case you are busy or to not get what I want on the retailer as a result of I can’t get it right here and it very pressing.
December 12, 2019 four;10 PM
What do you want? Simply let me know. Please don’t ask me to mail one other bottle of tequila. We KNOW how that went final time. (My suitcase nonetheless smells like lime juice and child powder!)
December 12, 2019, 7:14 PM
Sure, please! I have to get an Amazon present card or Google play card , i attempted buying on-line however sadly no luck with that.Are you able to get it from any retailer round you? I’ll pay again as quickly as i’m again. Kindly let me know should you can deal with this so i can inform you the best way to ship the cardboard. Await your soonest response.
December 12, 2019 9:21 PM
Positive, is the whole lot OK? How can I get the cardboard to you. Aren’t you together with your brother? Is Chad OK?
I’ve a pair American Categorical present playing cards right here at dwelling that I’ve had for some time. With these be useful? I’ve had them for about six months. I gained them at work for good attendance and for many improved. I used to be so proud!
December 12, 2019, 9:24 PM
Sure, the whole lot is ok. Thanks very a lot. Complete quantity wanted is $2,500, $100 denominations. You will get it from any retailer round you and I want you to scratch the again of the cardboard to disclose the pin, then take a screenshot of the again displaying the pin and have them despatched to me together with the acquisition receipt.
December 12, 2019, 9:31 PM
Are you getting the cardboard now
December 13, 2019, 12:06 AM
Hey, wait a minute… That is beginning to sound fishy. Kat? Is that this actually you? Show to me that it’s you and inform me the place your birthmark is. I do know you already know I do know the place it’s. Ha ha ha!
I believe my AmEx present playing cards are for a complete of $150. I can mail them to you tomorrow if you need. I even have a $5 reward at 16 Handles in case you are craving some frozen yogurt. LMK.
December 13, 2009, 12:38 AM
I’m actually not pleased with what you simply ask me when you already know the place my birthmark is and sure it me Kat are you able to attempt to get me the Amazon present card or Google play card that’s what I want i want you to scratch the again of the cardboard to disclose the pin, then take a screenshot of the again displaying the pin and have them despatched to me together with the acquisition receipt.
December 13, 2019, 7:54 AM
I’m sorry, Kat. I didn’t imply to upset you. Did you overlook that was our little inside joke from summer time camp again in 1982? You foolish goose, you don’t actually have a birthmark! Can’t I simply ship you the AmEx present playing cards? I can in a single day them. I assume I might go to 7-11 to purchase an Amazon acrd, however I undoubtedly can not afford $2500. I’d should rob a financial institution and I for certain don’t wish to go although that once more until you have been with me. Would $250 in Amazon playing cards be okay coupled with the AmEx playing cards? That may be a complete of $400. (I simply want you to pinky swear that you’ll pay me again.) I can go get them at the moment if I can handle to get away from my child. Butch Patrick is simply studying the best way to stroll so I have to maintain my eye on him always. I miss the times when all he might do was lay on his again and I might go do no matter I wished for hours at a time.
Simply let me know if the $250 shall be sufficient. Oh, and would you like the $5 credit score at 16 Handles? If not, it’s tremendous. They won’t even have frozen yogurt the place you’re. Moreover, I do have a longing for some Cookies and Cream! Yumm-o!
December 13, 2019, 9:22 AM
Betty are you able to attempt to get the Amazon present card for me on the retailer the Amazon present card must be $1000 plus the Amerix Present card. Get the Amazon present card it must be $100 every i want you to scratch the again of the cardboard to disclose the pin, then take a screenshot of the again displaying the pin and have them despatched to me together with the acquisition receipt.
December 13, 2019, 9:27 AM
I can’t afford that, Kat. Is $300 sufficient? And perhaps a again rub the subsequent time I see you? (wink wink)
December 13, 2019, 9:29 AM
Am going to pay you again that why the $300 gained’t be sufficient okay. Are you able to get the cardboard now. It must be $100 every okay
December 13, 2019, 9:34 AM
Betty did you bought my message
December 13, 2019, 9:37 AM
Sure. I have to borrow my uncle’s truck as quickly as he will get again from the methadone clinic. And hopefully he can watch Little Butch Patrick whereas I am going get the playing cards. The final time I took him to 7-11, he one way or the other managed to climb into the Slurpee machine. That darn child!
However I can’t do greater than $500 tops. Is that okay?
I really like you, Kat. Are you secure?
December 13, 2019, 9:40 AM
Yeah, that’s tremendous. It must be $100 and when is he coming add me up by my e mail so that may can chat on Google hangout okay
December 13, 9:50 AM
Okay, nice. He must be dwelling in about two hours. After which I’ve to complete doing the laundry. Oh, and I simply began watching Fleabag and might hardly tear myself away from the TV. Have you ever seen it?? It jogs my memory a lot of you, you soiled lady. Scorching Priest seems like Mr. Moreau from highschool and we each understand how we felt about him. Didn’t he offer you crabs or am I getting that blended up with another person?
Are you okay, Kat? I’m fearful.
December 13, 2019, 9:59 AM
Sure I’m okay simply little fear attempt to get the cardboard for me Asap okay
December 13, 2019, 10:17 AM
December 13, 2019, 10:25 AM
Betty what card is that this one have you ever received the Amazon present card
December 13, 2019, December 13, 2019, 11:13 AM
Betty have you ever received the cardboard.
December 13, 2019, 11:55 AM
Betty did you bought my message
December 13, 2019, 12:59 PM
Whats up Betty
December 13, 2019, 1:19 PM
Sure, I received the playing cards. I received 5 playing cards every for $100. You aren’t going to consider what occurred, although! Whereas I used to be within the 7-Eleven, Justin Timberlake got here in! In fact I used to be so excited as a result of you understand how a lot I really like him, proper? So I used to be having my image taken with him and getting his autograph and within the pleasure I walked out of the shop with out the playing cards! Oh my God, I’m such an fool. Now I’ve to attend till my uncle will get again from his neighborhood service so I can drive again up there and get them. Hopefully, they’re nonetheless there! I’ll let you already know. Maintain your fingers crossed.
December 13, 2019, 1:21 PM
Are You joking with me or not
December 13, 2019, 1:26 PM
I suppose the Justin Timberlake photograph proved to be an excessive amount of as a result of I by no means heard from my expensive buddy “Kat” once more. However I did handle to string alongside this asshole for nearly 24 hours.
Am I bitchy waiter? Sure. Sure, I’m, however I don’t hold my bitchiness on the restaurant, I wish to unfold it across the Web.