I suppose I’m an ungrateful, repulsive asshole who wouldn’t know gratitude if it got here up and tickled my taint. A few days in the past, I posted a photograph on ye olde Fb web page that introduced folks up in arms. It was a photograph of a tip somebody named Kim left her server at Golden Corral. The invoice was clearly seen as $35 and the tip consisted of what seemed to be two dollars and a rock. The rock was hand-painted, presumably by Kim. I believed it seemed like an arts and craft challenge from a 10-year outdated’s artwork class at summer time camp that some unfortunate dad or mum would obligingly maintain onto for the remainder of their days, ending up dusty on a shelf subsequent to a wonky-ass ceramic ashtray and an image body made out of popsicle sticks. I discussed that no server desires a freaking rock as a tip, however apparently I used to be fallacious.
Remark after remark poured in from servers who claimed it was “cute” and “touching” and “candy.” Somebody even tracked down the unique picture’s Fb publish and located that the server who acquired the rock as a part of her tip, Linda, was additionally appreciative of the rock. Apparently, it made her day.
Servers shared their tales of when prospects had left them candy items and surprisingly, loads of different waiters and waitresses have additionally acquired rocks as suggestions. I used to be shook.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for pondering that a rock is a nasty tip. I want to go on document and say that from this present day ahead, I feel each buyer must be leaving rocks as suggestions. The larger the higher. Did your waiter handle to get you out and in of the restaurant in document time so you may get to a film? Give him a painted rock! Did a waitress refill your water glass a complete of seven occasions, by no means as soon as letting it fall one inch under the rim? Give her two painted rocks! Did a server give your 12-top excellent service and separated all the checks after which sing comfortable birthday to you? Roll in a fucking painted boulder for that server!
And servers, when it comes time to pay your hire, you load up all these rocks in a wheelbarrow and you then dump these rocks on the ft of your landlord and ensure they see how fairly they’re. Certainly, they’ll leap on the probability to personal a ton of stones as a result of who doesn’t need extra rocks of their life? Put these rocks in protected deposit bins and save them to your kids! Write them into your wills!
After a lot pushback concerning the painted rock, I believed possibly I merely didn’t see it for its full potential so I requested an artwork skilled for his opinion. Dr. Blarney S. Tone is a professor of artwork historical past and one of many nation’s main geologists. She seemed on the rock and gave me this appraisal:
The fragile brush strokes are much like these seen within the early work of Leonardo DaVinci. It’s additionally abundantly clear that Kim has studied the works of Jackson Pollock and Keith Haring. As for the stone itself, it seems to be of the Paleozoic period. I’m significantly impressed with the artists’s use of the Sharpie. Very spectacular. Ought to this piece go onto public sale within the worldwide artwork group, I might count on to see bids upward of $100Ok. The server who acquired this beautiful murals must be very, very grateful.
So there you’ve gotten it. I used to be being a jerk pondering that no server desires a rock as a tip. To Kim, and each different server who appreciates the present of stone, I apologize. I could also be a bitch, however I can actually see when I’ve misspoken. It takes a giant man to confess when he was fallacious and it takes a good greater man to hold a pile of rocks to the grocery retailer to purchase a loaf of bread.